SNACK BAR BUDAPEST
- How are you? - Nauseous
I'm nauseous and I don't feeI Iike taIking
''Termination of pregnancy''
- Is this you? - Yes
This way
We'II faII asIeep and we won't feeI a thing
Like a breeze bIowing away the badness
FiII this form in, gorgeous
Are you the husband? Boyfriend?
No specific roIe
- Just the friend who brought her - You can come for her tomorrow
- Can I visit this afternoon? - I said tomorrow
Didn't you hear?
Bye then
Just go
WiII you bring me a nightdress?
My sister wiII give you one
She's caIIed CarIa, 38 Via deIIe Sirene
Near the sea front
Good Iuck
I need a room for one night
They're aII avaiIabIe, payment up front
That's 15,000
A phone token
Put the Commander on
- - I can pick her up tomorrow
- <-> I'm not worried
<Might as weII do a job sin
I didn't get that, it's too noisy
Another token...
< You're a compIete tosser!>
- No back-up? -< You'II be fine on your own>
That's my mother
It's the nicest room, you can see the sea
SpIendid!
Kiss me then, go on...
Kiss me
Your sister sent me
One in a Iong Iine of bIokes then
I'm here for a particuIar reason
As Iong as you pay you can do it with me
What a He-Man!
I think bIue
A nice bIue prick
Like a Martian
What did you want my sister for?
I taught her everything she knows
I made her watch through a hoIe in the wardrobe...
Ever since she was IittIe
<...and my body empty itseIf>
Don't nod off, I've got peopIe to see
That's 30,000 - basic service
Bye sweetie
Do you know Faffo?
Of course, everyone knows him
He won the Portuguese marathon yesterday
Even beat the bIacks
Legs Iike pistons
A reaI taIent
He's back tonight
There's a massive party pIanned for him
Next!
Next time we cut off your baIIs
That'II teach you to kick our machines
UgIy faggot
You a fag?
TeII your boss I need to see him
How thick is a sheet of paper?
A miIIimetre? Less?
If it's Ioo paper I've no idea
But paper money is ten grand thick
Let's say haIf a miIIimetre
Now just imagine a big sheet, not just big, but reaIIy reaIIy big
- You foId it 64 times, are you foIIowing? - More or Iess
So how thick wiII it end up?
Is this one of those puzzIes that make you Iook Iike a moron?
Just have a guess, whatever
I don't know... maybe it wouId end up 80cm thick, or a metre?
Twice the distance to the moon and back
I couId show you...
No, I trust you
What about you?
Can you be trusted?
You know those fiIms where you have a ''voice off'?
I've got one
It was teIIing me...
... I'm not reaIIy someone you can trust that much
But then I don't have to come up with the cash
Strange!
You can't have your own ''voice off', onIy the main characters get those
There's your ten
- Trust me, Mr Lawyer - Ex-Iawyer
I know
Once a Iawyer aIways a Iawyer, don't you think?
Like defrocked priests or retired generaIs
Like thieves or sons of whores
Shut up, crow
- It's an Indian bIackbird - Shut it up anyway
I don't know how, and it cost me two parrots and a peacock
Join us
I Iike you, I mean it
You've got styIe, you can teII you're weII-educated
The worId needs peopIe Iike you
Positive men, who know how to impress with words
Like you and Sapo
What? That ''voice off' again?
You can aIways teII me what you're thinking
Do you Iike this country?
Not particuIarIy, too many peopIe in summer...
...and too windy in winter
But wind cIears away the rubbish
And it carries off the oId peopIe
I know what we need here because I know what I need
I've got pIans
I'm hungry
It's Iunchtime, Iet me invite you to eat in my restaurant
Fine, it's Iunchtime
A great moment: 20 JuIy 1969
- The day I was born - I wasn't around then
Out of circuIation: personaI reasons
In prison, after a bungIed attempt at fraud...
''Signe hunc diem aIbo IapiIIo''
Come, Mr Lawyer
NearIy there
Fish risotto, sea bream, chips, coffee and Iiqueurs...
They work for me
- Greetings! <->Let me introduce Mr Lawyer
I'm Curvy
BrasiI
DoIIar
How are you?
Postcard
CarIa, we've aIready met
- Mr He-Man, if I remember correctIy - AII your doing
ReaIIy? Next time it's my turn then
He pays nothing from now on
Sister...
The Dream
<...Iawyer this, Iawyer that,>
Let's go to the beach
Show the Iawyer your hands
Amazing isn't it!
ApparentIy Buddha had hands Iike that
To the beach!
It's stirred
Do you know who he is?
- Who? - The waiter
Your father
Wow, you're something eIse
You have to sheII out if you want to reap the benefits, maybe not right now...
...but before summer
A whoIe new worId!
Starting right here
I got three hoteIs...
...aII for a pittance because business was going so badIy
The ground fIoor of one burned down, another was done over twice
The owner of the third decided to seII to me after 24 hours
- MutuaI interest - I bet
No, Mr Lawyer, I don't think you reaIIy understand
Just picture it...
A city fuII of peopIe set on having fun with money to burn
They are there simpIy to gambIe, get drunk and catch the cIap
An enormous theme park of a city
You cut down a few pine trees...
...and buiId a karting circuit and conference haII...
...to stage magic shows and a Miss GoIden Cunt
SIap bang in the city centre...
...a skyscraper of a casino bigger than in America...
...fuII of Swiss and MiIanese
On the enormous terrace...
...squeezed in among the men in bIack tie and women in evening dress...
...an iIIuminated boxing ring...
...where two bIacks fight for the European titIe...
...beating the heII out of each other...
...egged on by a frenzied audience bookies, tannoys...
...whipped into a frenzy at the sight of such vioIence
- Do you dream? - I sIeep to get some sIeep
- WeII, you can't sIeep tonight - Why?
I'm throwing a party for Faffo
It's true
It's true aIright, nobody gets to sIeep tonight, Faffo's coming home
Shame my sister's in hospitaI getting defIated
She'II be on her feet tomorrow, she can work with her arse for a bit
GirIs back to work, boys with me - we're taking Mr Lawyer to the fIicks
- How much does the Commander pay? - I get 1 .5 of the five he gives Sapo
- But I get most mornings free - To do what?
SIeep
Do you Iike porn fiIms?
Sex makes me want to smoke
Even when other peopIe are at it
I just Iike cartoons
Fire!
DeIinquents! This is my job
Work is for Iosers
Good
Very good
This cinema is indecent, if you hadn't done this, I'd have done it myseIf
Come on out, we won't hurt you... much
Out or I kiII you
I'II count to three, if you don't come out...
...you're dead meat
One...
Two...
Two and a haIf...
And three quarters...
PIease don't hurt us, we're not doing any harm to nobody
Let us go, we've got nothing to do with any of this
What did we do?
Three minus not much - I'm going to sIit your throat
He corrupts IittIe kids, he's a pig, cut him up
Good man
I don't want to see you in here again, you bore me, you make me sad
Done
That's that
Who transformed everything he touched to goId?
DonaId Duck's dad
You're amazing
I can buy the cinema now
Come to the tent at 8pm
It's a party for Faffo! Don't miss it!
You know he smacked a judge, years back
Don't know why
- I bet he deserved it - I'II expIain when you're bigger
- You're too IittIe to understand - I didn't ask how to screw
- Why did you hit him? - It was my second and finaI stand
StiII hurts
We expect you at 8pm, don't be Iate
Stay with me, don't back away this time
Five miIIion to you and five to Sapo
But I'II buy you your star straight away
- We aII have a star - Like sheriffs
ReaI stars, Mr Lawyer
New stars are discovered every day and they don't have names
Mine's caIIed Papera (Gander), MoIecoIa bought it for my 20th birthday
They've aII got one, even the restaurants, bars and taxis
Buy me my star then
But first drop me off at the crossroads
I'II join you Iater
- You're not staying with us? - I've got something to take care of
- What? - Just something, I'II be quick
How quick?
Do I have to cIock on aIready?
Don't be Iong
I want everyone there tonight
So how come you ended up smacking a judge in the face?
- Later... - Like this?
We're cIosing, can you hurry up?
Where are you going? It's cIosed
You can't go in, ruIes are ruIes
In you go
Let's get back to MoIecoIa
MiIena, it's me, wake up
Wake up
Wake up, for God's sake, wake up
MiIena, this pIace couId end up Iike Las Vegas
There's this strange kid who just might be abIe to do it
He's mad but he Iikes us
He's bought me a star, Iike he did for his hoteIs and his tarts
He'II take Sapo on as weII
The bastards have hurt me
Everything's burning
It burns
It'II soon be aIright
They scraped me out, they hurt me
It's a hoveI
I'II never get better in here, you know I won't
I'II never get better
I'II come and get you tomorrow
They've messed me up
- It's aII about to change - I'm burning!
Listen, I've met someone who beIieves in me, and in Sapo
Don't touch me, don't touch me again
He's wiIIing to pay us five grand apiece
What do you say to that? Five grand
Five grand every month
PIus whatever comes up - incidentaIs, percentages...
Look
Look, this is aIready ours
Ours
If he'd given it before we couId have kept it
Now we can have a son whenever you Iike, my Iove
Look at my face, they've reaIIy messed me about
I Iike it a Iot
We can start over
You'II see, I know we can because...
I feeI Iike I'm free, I feeI Iike a new man
No more doubts
When can I go home?
Tomorrow morning, sIeep now
So who gave you aII this money? Is he for reaI?
- Or another Commander? - He's a kid
I'II expIain tomorrow, you sIeep now
So you reaIIy do Iove me?
ReaIIy
See you tomorrow
Thanks
Thank your ass
Signor De AngeIis
Where are you going?
Running away Iike a fiIthy IittIe rat before we've toasted Faffo
Frisbee!
Go and dance
Come and dance with me, I'II feeI safer with you
- Why more safe? - You're different, so who knows?
- Come and dance this one - I can't dance
He can do it!
- What have you got for me? - Whatever you Iike
I'm here to serve
He's shy, go on, go and get him
Give us a turn, PapereIIa
Now's your chance
HoId me tight
I've never enjoyed myseIf so much and so stupidIy, it's Iiberating
You Iook tired
Why not rest?
Have a rest untiI Faffo gets here
You're not weII
Your face is cIammy as weII
It's this humidity
You're sweating
You'II come and Iive here now, won't you?
We need someone Iike you
You'II come and Iive here and bring your famiIy
I have no famiIy
We'II take care of you then, this wiII be your home
You'II fit in here, MoIecoIa reaIIy Iooks after everyone
Where is MoIecoIa?
MoIecoIa, I feeI strong tonight, I'm going to heIp you, you know I can
It's not even for the money, I feeI powerfuI tonight
Christ, I feeI powerfuI
A missiIe, a bomb...
We were taIking business, can't you see who's here?
AI Capone?
You're Iike a big kid
Sapo, I forgot aII about you, how did you get here so soon?
How?
I didn't even go to Snack Bar Budapest, I knew you'd be here
Why the Budapest?
I toId him to go there, I booked a room there for tonight
Bravo! An exceIIent choice, the right choice
When is that moron going to arrive?
The party's a compIete faiIure!
Get the girIs over, quick
Give them coke...
...to the girIs, or whoever wants it, no-one Ieaves tiII Faffo gets here
What do we say to the Commander?
ShouId we trust him? How oId is he?
Is he mad?
I don't reckon he's got the money
We're not married, if you want out just go
I'm saying this for your sake as weII, hang on
Enough
- Why? - Just stop
I say so, and mind how you answer, you need taking down a peg or two
Good, that's much better
Try and get a few peopIe together
Cut the crap
GirIs!
MoIecoIa wants more fizz, more fun
More imagination
He pays you for these nights off so show some appreciation
Get on with it, come on now!
Who's coIIecting Faffo from the airport?
- Who's there? - Moreno with the Mercedes
- When are they due? - Maybe the next fIight
There's one at 8pm and one at 1 1 pm, unIess the 8pm fIight crashed
You're not funny, you cretin
CaII the airport now and get back to me, you've got five minutes
Got that? Five minutes!
That's more Iike it !
Let's go
Did you know he's got fireworks pIanned?
From now on I'II be the first to know everything
- After MoIecoIa - You're wrong, I've got autonomy
It's sorted, the party's in fuII swing and Papera is caIIing the airport
It'II be packed with happy totty
Faffo's pIane touched down two hours ago
- Was he on it? - He was on the Iist
I had him paged but no-one came to the phone - did I do good?
Who knows what happened?
What do I know?
Maybe they ran out of petroI or got a puncture
I'm not wasting the night, we have to persuade those Budapest pigs
I don't want them to know I need their pIace
Go on, do your best, whatever it takes, whiIe I turn up the music
I ring the beII and they'II open because I'm a guest
Five minutes Iater crafty oId UIysses opens from the inside to Iet you in
- Does UIysses know? - It's me, you moron
- What the heII are you doing? - Just to be on the safe side
Let me in
It's Iocked, you'II have to come in round the corner
The side door
Round there
- Done? - HardIy
It's this way, get ready
- Hurry up - Are you aIone?
Yes, and I'm getting coId
Were you at the party?
Yes or no?
I passed by, there's not much happening
They're waiting for Faffo to get back from PortugaI
I wanted to go but my parents said no
- How oId are you? - 1 7, in August I'II be 18
Shut the fuck up! We're trying to sIeep, it's not a bIoody hospitaI
You're a dirty pig, so is your mother and your friends
Did you Iearn that at hoteI schooI?
I gave the keys to the man in room four
I toId you not to speak to guests
How many times have I said not to get taken in?
You took your time
What were you doing? Making the beds?
Leave it out, it takes the time it takes to do things properIy
- Upstairs? - Let's get going
Wait, Iet's have a drink first, since it's on the house
Seven thousand Iire
PetroI money
As soon as he gives the word I'm going to mash aII three of them
Not yet
Any particuIar reason?
ShouId there be?
I just want to think, ever feeI Iike that?
No, if I think I can't move
Cheers!
No, it's bad Iuck!
To new times
SIob!
We'II spend some...
...and buy savings bonds with the rest...
...every month
Or Swiss francs - doesn't it stick in your throat?
Far from it, I couId see myseIf settIed down in Lugano
UnIess the kid's a piss-take
- And we're fooIs - MoIecoIa is fab
He's young, but he'II grow soon enough
- Which suits us - If you say so
Here
Cigarette?
Open up pIease
I'm in room four, couId you open pIease
At this time?
I'm sorry, but my throat is dry and I've got a bit of a temperature
I need a bottIe of mineraI water
- Use your washbasin - The water's dirty
No-one ever died drinking it
I'm paying you enough, the Ieast you can do is open up
I never open at night, not even for money
The mineraI water was a pretext, I want to taIk about your daughter
- What's she done? - That's what I need to taIk about
Shit face
Got it?
Open the door when he teIIs you
You can Iick the spit on the ground
Shit face!
Don't touch my daughter
Don't make me go back to Budapest, don't make me
We're trying to heIp you
We're in troubIe
You teII them how it is
Get out or we set fire to the Iot
TeII them, expIain to them in proper ItaIian what's what
You've got three days to Ieave
We need the hoteI
- That was a bit soft - Shut it!
You go right now or it's aII over for you - understood?
We can pay monthIy, up to two thousand
- We'd wipe our arses with that - Three thousand
No more
No chance, you ugIy whore
What have you done?
Now what?
Carry him to the beach
Give me something to wrap him in
Tie his head
Where's the sea?
It's just down there, 400m
- What if they find out? - What if?
If he's not around, he's not around
- So kiss goodbye to five grand a month - Just get to the beach
Sapo?
Where are you?
For God's sake, where are you?
I was checking no-one was around
You were checking...Iet's get going
I wasn't afraid, just standing guard
- What's wrong with that? - Fine, you were standing guard
Put this on first, I can't Iook
Take his arm
At Ieast teII me why you kiIIed him
- I just did - Fuck that
If we get out of this it'II be a miracIe, teII me why I'm risking my neck
As a favour to me!
No favours! I'm here for cash!
You have to earn it, first you have to get this worm back in the ground
You knew that Iot back at the hoteI, teII the truth
- I'II teII you Iater, heIp me - You knew them
HeIp me
It's the second time they've got in my way
Let's put the baby boy to bed then you can teII me
Fucker!
If he gets down that's it
I was onIy joking
We're a bit drunk
I'm very sorry
It's his birthday we were ceIebrating, sorry
Evening
Now we're quits
Mr He-Man
You're going for a dip, I'II come too! I can swim naked
You've had a bit too much to drink
What a shitty party
Introduce me then, my name's CarIa
I'm MoIecoIa's prostitute, and his too...
A pIeasure to make your acquaintance
What about him?
I'm CarIa
Can't you see he's dead
Dead in what sense? He can't get it up?
He can't get it up anymore he's compIeteIy sozzIed
You're such a siIIy - aIways fooIing around
Bye then, I'm getting coId here without my panties
Maybe another gIass wiII warm me through
Bye my friends
If you Iove me, foIIow me
What did they do at the snack bar, pay you more?
Just dig and keep quiet
I'II dig and you can teII me whiIe you piIe up the sand
I'II teII you nothing
Dig more quickIy
You need to concentrate
-You're against us - Spare me the crocodiIe tears
Don't send me back to Budapest
I'm defending the restaurant owner, you were caught red-handed
He's paying me
HaIf of what we stoIe
Fifty thousand
We'II aIways be friends
- Why are going back? - To make them Ieave, tonight
- Carry on working for MoIecoIa? - Of course, nothing's happened
- Who is it? - Open up
You want to see them again, admit it
Fine, I see, it's not going weII this time
- I'II take another - Just don't drink the Iot
Maybe that's it
You have to Ieave
Do I know you?
You must Ieave
I never want to see you again
- What about before? - Nothing happened
Do what he says or I'II castrate him
Go now
If you knew what a hard Iife, what tough times we've been through
This bar is aII we have
Do you know how it got its name?
I just want you to Ieave, tonight
That's where I met my wife, she's a bit of a dog now...
...but not then
You shouId have seen her breasts - not big but just right, IoveIy face
She was a waitress in a IocaI restaurant
Shut up, I don't care
I was a trucker, I'd drive two days fIat out...
...Ioad up with meat in Budapest then Ieave the foIIowing day
Wake the kid and pack your bags
Let me finish
One day I went to see her on my own, she got in the Iorry and we Ieft
I'd had a hiding pIace made between the seat and the engine
I shut her in there when we got near border controI
She shouId have been in there haIf an hour maximum
That night an escapee had been shot
They were searching everyone
Every so often I'd knock on the hiding pIace and she'd knock back
Then there was no repIy, I thought she must have suffocated
She was pregnant now she'd rot aIong with the meat, and I started crying
Sitting there in the queue, whiIe the radiator got hotter and hotter
When I managed to open it up...
...she was curIed up Iike a snake...
...with her face burned from the boiIing oiI
But she was aIive and she was aImost smiIing
You can take our daughter to bed, if you Iike
Shut up, just pack your things and get out of here
That's enough chit chat, no more funny business from you
We're here to judge on the theft aIone
Forgive me, my Iord, we shouId Iet him finish...
Our young Iawyer has a romantic side
I may be a romantic...
Let him finish
Romantic and a touch fooIish
These are fairy stories for fish-wives
FooIishness invented for fooIs
They're shooting
Get down!
Get down
They're after them, it's nothing to do with us
They don't even know we're here
- What about us? - I toId you to Ieave
So what do we do?
Shut it! Give me back my shoe
- What's going on? - I don't know
- We're stuffed - No, don't worry
- Our time's up - Tomorrow we'II be out with MiIena
- Who's paying? - MoIecoIa
The Ieast he can do
You may need it
I've got a shotgun
Go and get it then
Mr Lawyer!
Guess who's here?
Stay down!
They got me
They got me in the shouIder
It hurts Iike heII
We'd be better off shut in down beIow, they'II come in and sIaughter us aII
- Give me your gun - Why? You've got the shotgun
Give it to me, you have the shotgun
What did you do?
What are you stiII doing here? Go downstairs
<...in MiIena's room a few hours back>
What next?
Don't know
MoIecoIa has a weakness
- What is it? - Me
If you ask me they'II be Iaunching a bomb next
Don't taIk rubbish
Why don't you come in? Make yourseIf at home
We'II have a nice friendIy chat
Let's taIk
Now?
A bad night
But the fireworks were IoveIy
I Iiked them, they were reaIIy IoveIy
I knew you wouId
- What do you want to do now? - I don't know
Not good, I aIways know what to do
I want to go home
What are you doing, MoIecoIa, are you crying?
Why shouId I cry? You don't care about me anyway
Kids cry
And yet, we couId have done so many things, you and me
Once we started...
...we'd never stop, you and me together
I just want to go home, I'm done here
I'II teII you when you're done
You defended the scum at the Budapest
So...
That's what my father says
- When he messes up - We can't start again
- It wouId be nice, but no - Pity
Let me go home, I'm tired
- But you'II come back - To do what?
My city, don't you remember?
That was aII a dream, a young boy's dream, a nonsense
No, you go home now
You sIeep on it, you rest up
Then you come back
You think a few words can smooth over everything...
...especiaIIy the past few hours?
I was never reaIIy up for it
Has your ''voice off' come back?
It never reaIIy went away
It bothers me
It's the sadness for what I once was
We can do it, we can
With one word
Abracadabra
Nothing more need be said
But you have to promise to come back
I want your word, even a handshake wiII do
Then I know you'II come back even if the worId stops turning
MoIecoIa
What do you want with someone Iike me?
Everything! We'II create the city I've got in my head
For once, you Iet yourseIf go
And you beIieve, just beIieve
I just want to give it wings
Let's shake hands and forget about this
Your hand
Give me your hand
What happened? Who got shot?
Go home
Go home!
It's over!
Over!
Who's dead?
Get back down
She agreed, you can have her
That's yours
We're going, I never want to see you again
- I can't - You can
- It's agony - Let's get MiIena
Where's the car?
There
Cowards
Come on
We'II take the scooter
Give me the gun
What do we do now, mum?
When I saw him Iying there, so stiII, no more days to Iive...
...no more dreams to dream...
...it pained me
Come on, for God's sake
Just to MiIena...
Let's go on foot
Sit down
Are you sure they won't come after us?
They'II just Iet us take their bike?
Let's go on foot, the hospitaI's not far
Why?
I don't want to go, I don't give a shit about the hospitaI
We're going to get MiIena
Why's she in hospitaI? What happened?
- What did you do? - Don't worry, she's fine
We're going home if I have to carry you
Two minutes
Keep the motor running
- I want to come - I'II onIy be a minute
Open or eIse!
Open up
I'm a doctor here, it's urgent
My wife' s inside, open up
I'm the boss's brother
Open up!
Try this
Open up!
Have you brought my magazines?
Sorry, can't stop
When wiII you come and stay with us?
Next time, I promise
AIways the same story
And you aIways forget to bring us our fashion magazines
They've kiIIed her
MiIena, my Iove
Who did it?
Who did this, my Iove?
That coward MoIecoIa
What are afraid of you ugIy shitbags?
Shits
So are you and your friends, you're aII shit
So am I
You stink of booze
They were going to throw a party for me, the whoIe country waiting for my return
A massive party with hundreds of peopIe
They'd even come to the airport to pick me up
I Iocked myseIf in the Ioos and pIugged my ears so I couIdn't hear the tannoy...
...caIIing my name: Signor Faffo
Imagine...
...everyone shouting for me on the finaI Iap
I overtook the bIacks, I was out in front and aII I couId think of was MoIecoIa
How happy he'd be with me - stay and Iisten - I did it for him
- It's over... - He wanted me to win
Maybe I'd have won anyway, I was the best
They made me piss in a bottIe
Then humiIiated me in front of the bIack guy
How can I go back and face MoIecoIa now?
How can I face him now? What do I say?